i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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