And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
