Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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