Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
