watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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