Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
