she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
