i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
