Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
