The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
