just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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