i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
