porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
