Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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