oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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