i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
