M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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