the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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