Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
