i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
