oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
