so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im holly from the hills drunk
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
