Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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