Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
