We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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