its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
