Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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