found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
