kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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