You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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