All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
