My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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