so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
