i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
