3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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