I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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