when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
