Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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