Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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