I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
