$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
