the day after is always just damage control
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
