So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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