So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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