like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
