No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
