I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
