She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
