How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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