debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We have started to decorate penises.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
